The literal translation would be something along the lines of "square, convenient, good." I think it says something else on the Ritter chocalate bars here in the U.S., though, but I cannot remember what exactly.
In any case, what the OP has in mind would not work in English anyway. Whereas in Germany the brand association of this slogan is almost 100%, here in the U.S. at least, it is not recognized as being a set marketing phrase in general and as being associated with chocolate in particular. So, if one said, for example "square, convenient, but not chocolate," it might be considered a bit quirky, perhaps, but it would not be recognized as being derived from the marketing slogan of Ritter chocolate bars.