Ich bin mir zwar nicht sicher,ob das hier richtig ist, aber ich würde gerne mal eine kleine Korrektur von einem einfachen Text haben. Würdet ihr mir helfen?
My life was my biggest adventure
I'm Genesis. I'm sixteen years old and I'm living in a big villa in Las Vegas. But that wasn't always the case...
Afew years ago I was living in a small flat, alone with my mum and my dog Harry. We have never had much money, but then my mum lost her job and our life was over. From one day to the other we were sitting on the street, must sleep in the parc, eat from public rubbish bin. Our live was hard, but we survive.
One very cold day in winter, it was snowing, my mum was trying to walk on the frozen lake, but the ice layer was not thick enough and she was falling into the very cold water. I shouted loudly and a man heard my scream and and came to help us. He took his scarf and catched my mother out of the lake. She was cold and wet, so the man drove us to hospital. The doctor explained she was okay, but Tom (that was the name of the men) said that we had to went to his house and visit him, because he was scared that my mum would get a cold.
As we were in the big house of Tom, he showed me 'my' room and I was very happy, because the room was so big. Directly I fell asleep in the big and soft bed.
Next morning we've had breakfast in a very big room. I was very surprised, because I saw, that my mum and Tom were exchanging amourous glances. I was shocked, were they in love?
Later Tom told us, we should live here for a longer time, because he had got enough rooms for us, too. My mum was very happy and Tom and her were doing much more together now. Three weeks later, Mum told me, that she and Tom were a couple and very much in love with each other. At first I was shocked and a little bit angry, but now I think it was the best what could ever happened to us. Tom is a very nice dad and the villa is very good for having partys. Tom says, one day he will adopt me so that we will be a real family. On the marriage of my mum and Tom, I had been crying. Not because I was sad, but because I was so happy to have such a good life.
Und? Habt ihr etwas gravierendes gefunden?
PS: Mir sind besonders die Zeiten wichtig, vielleicht könntet ihr da etwas mehr drauf achten!? ;-)