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Das Schreiben einer Characterization

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ich muss für die Schule (8. Klasse gymnasial) eine Characterization in dem Fach Englisch schreiben. Da diese als Klassenarbeit gewertet wird, wollte ich euch nach eurer Meinung fragen. Ich wäre euch sehr verbunden, wenn ihr mir Verbesserungsvorschläge geben könntet.

Characterization of Saren Arterius 14.02.2012

Saren Arterius is one of the main characters in Drew Karpyshyn's novel "Mass Effect: Revelations", which released on the 1st May in 2007. This book is a science - fiction novel which takes place in the 22. century. The protagonists have to resolve a horrible crime.

At the beginning of the book, Saren is a 26 years old man. He is a member of the "Turianian Race", which is now for 1200 years member in the "Citadel Council", a government that is ruling the space. Because there home planet is affected by cosmic radiation, his facial appearance is equal to a metal skull. This metal exoskeleton protect him from this lethal radiance. He has hooves instead of feet. His lower body resembles more the rear legs of a mountain goat, than a human lower body. He has wide hips, but a thin belly, followed by a muscular chest. Saren has also muscular arms, with big claws on the end. His neck is very muscular too. Sarens head is equal of a bird of preys head. He is approximately two meters high.
He is working for the Citadel as a "Spectre", a military elite-agent that is only under control by the Citadel.
Saren Arterius is sparing of words, but he listen to others interested. If he says something he expresses himself precisely.
In the novel, Saren has to resolve a crime which took place on the planet "Sidon". A research laboratory got bestial attacked under mysterious circumstances by an unknown unit. There were no survivors. His mission is to identify this unknown unit, and kill all members.
Saren behaves neutral towards others, except humans. He hates humans, because they killed his brother in the first contact war. So he behaves patronizing to his human opponents.
Saren Arterius is highly appreciated due to his highly efficiency, but he act very brutal to reach his targets.
He rather use a knife, than a gun, because its silent and deadly. On his mission to resolve the crime, he is killing everyone who gets in his way on a brutal, inhuman kind. Saren doesn't make friends with other life forms, and is therefore very objective. Consequently he is operating very rough and brutal, so he gain much respect.

Saren is important for the storyline, without him the case wouldn't get solved. I think Saren is a desperate man, who experienced disregard in his childhood, and is for that reason heavily withdrawn. Even he is an unpredictable killer, he did his job properly and resolved the crime. Of course, I don't like his manner of doing things, but I appreciate his kind of operating.

Vielen Dank schonmal im Vorraus,
Verfassermaxi23_2 (852247) 15 Feb 12, 17:03
Mir fällt an ein paar Stellen ein Verstoß gegen die gute alte he-she-it-Regel auf:
but he listen to others interested
but he act very brutal

und Vorsicht mit there und their...
#1VerfasserYora Unfug (694297) 15 Feb 12, 17:24
i Nur registrierte Benutzer können in diesem Forum posten
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