A Mormon was seated next to an Irishman on a flight from London to the US.
After the plane was airborne, drinks orders were taken. The Irishman asks for a whiskey, which is promptly brought and placed before him.
The flight attendant then asks the Mormon whether he would like a whiskey as well. He replies in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores than let that demon alcohol touch my lips."
The Irishman immediately hands his drink back to the attendant and says, “ Sorry, I didn't know we had a choice."
A Native American chief had three wives, all pregnant.
The first wife gave birth to a boy. The chief was so happy that he built her a teepee made of deer hide.
A few days later, the second wife gave birth, also to a boy. The chief was very happy. He built her a teepee made of antelope hide.
When the third wife gave birth a few days later, the chief kept the details a secret, but he built her a two-storey teepee, made out of hippopotamus hide. The chief then challenged the tribe to guess what had happened at the third birth.
Many tried, unsuccessfully. Finally, one young brave declared that the third wife had given birth to twin boys.
"Correct," said the chief. "How did you figure it out?"
The warrior answered, "It's elementary. The value of the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides."