Hab ich gerade gefunden:
The important Jewish holidays are the ones on which alternate-side-of-the-street parking is suspended.
There comes a time in every man's life when he must stand up and tell his mother that he is an Adult. This usually happens at around age 45.
Aus der gleichen Quelle:
O'Brien loved to play golf and would go out alone to a course and pair up
with any group that needed a fourth. One day he went to his favorite
course and the pro said, "I'm sorry O'Brien, but the only group I can put
you with is one with three Chassidic rabbis."
O'Brien says, "That's fine with me."
He joins the group and tees off. His shot is about 200 yards out and off
to the right rough. Reb Moshe tees off 300 yards straight out into the
middle of the fairway. Reb Yitzchak's shot is about 290 and Reb Yaacov's
is 300, but slightly off center.
O'Brien has trouble with getting out of the rough and four-putts, while the
rabbis' approach shots are right on the pin, they two-putt for par.
The rest of the round is the same, with the rabbi's scores either par or
under par, while O'Brien has a 95. He says to them, "You guys must play and practice
all the time."
Reb Yitzchak says, "No, we study all the time and only play once a week.
But, on our Sabbath, while we are in Shul, we say a prayer asking God to give
us one good round of golf each week."
O'Brien is so impressed that he goes home and tells his wife that they are converting.
They study, convert, join a Shul, and go to services every Shabbat.
About a year later, O'Brien runs into the threesome at the same course
and they invite him to play with them. The game is exactly like last year's.
O'Brien is doing nothing right, and the three are perfect. At the end, O'Brien says to
the rabbis, "I don't understand it. I converted, joined a Shul, and pray every week."
Reb Moshe says, "You joined a Shul? Which one?"
O'Brien says, "Beth El."
Reb Moshe says, "No, no, no! Beth El is for TENNIS!"
Her husband has been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.
As she sat by him, he said, "You know what? You have been
with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you
were there to support me. When my business failed, you were
there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost
the house, you gave me support. When my health started
failing, you were still by my side... You know what?"
"What dear?" she asks gently.
"I think you bring me bad luck."