Lance: Hi, erm, is this Steve Colby?
I’m Vietnamese and I own several restaurants, and I want to see if you would direct the commercial. There is a stigma against the Vietnamese. I want to bring ??? (perhaps: bring us out, but I am not sure) out into the light (or possibly line, but light probably makes more sense).
Steve: Okay, well what is your idea?
Lance: Okay, here it goes: I like the restaurant, okay?
I work in it all the time, but on the off time, when I am not working in the restaurant, I want people to think that I fight crime.
Steve: Okay. You’re going to fight crime, when you close the restaurant?
Lance: Right, right, because I have double identity, and I think that because so many funny commercials now, and I think this will be the funniest, here I am cooking the food and then people come and we show them picture of the food and then suddenly the record goes screech, you know like the screech on the record and then the person said “Hey Chan! Come help me!“. And I fight the crime and then come back and serve/give you the check.
Steve: Erm, so you know Karate?
Lance: No, No I don’t know Karate, but my son is black belt in Judo and he can wear my wig, I wear a wig don’t tell anyone by the way. This is not…
Steve: So He is gonna be your stand-in basicly, so how old is he?
Lance: He is twelve
Steve: Twelve, and are you a lot bigger than he is?
Lance: No, we are same height, I’m 4 foot 2, he actually is taller than me, because his mom is tall, I hate her, go to hell. So do you like my idea? Come on man! Let’s work together, brainstorm.
Steve: Maybe you know I’m probably booked for the next month or two..
Lance: I’ll pay you 15 thousand Dollar to direct this, I’m serious, you think I joke, I bring paper, I slam on your desk, and say that is serious I throw the money in your face that’s how serious I am I’ll slap you across the face with a hundred dollar bill, that how serious I am !
I mean it man! I want you direct this crime fighting comedy commercial!
Just to seal the deal, in Vietnam we have a saying and I would like you to say it back to me, okay? Linh hing hau, sinh hing wai.
Steve: Linh hau sinh hi wa
Lance: Oh, you know what that mean? I promise this or else I die, that what it means! And you said it and I have it!
Steve: All right, well thank you so much for calling,
Lance: Bye, bye.
I did not correct all the errors, but you should get the gist now.