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Why this company?

6 replies   
A few excerpts of my application are following:

"With this letter I apply for a five or six month practical placement within your software development department in Singapore starting in January 2011."

"At present I am a fourth semester student in the B.Sc. degree program....."

"My reasons for applying at your enterprise are that I search for demanding activities within the Java environment and a company with an international profile."

Are they correct or can I improve those sentences?
AuthorAndi10 Apr 10, 20:19
zum sprachlichen kann ich nichts sagen, aber der letzte satz klingt mir persönlich zu beliebig. die bewerbung könntest du quasi an alle firmen der branche schicken. ich würde versuchen ein produkt der firma hervorheben und beschreiben, dass du in diesem bereich und produkt aus den und den gründen gerne arbeiten willst.
#1Authordienegerhure10 Apr 10, 20:26
With this letter I am applying...
My reasons for applying at your enterprise are that I am searching for ("looking for" sounds better) demanding activities...
#2AuthorMartin--cal (272273) 10 Apr 10, 23:47
"With this letter I would like to apply....six month internship / work experience"

"I'm currently in my 4th semester in the B.Sc. degree program at..."

"I'm applying to your company/firm because I'm searching for/interested in a position offering demanding activities in the Java environment, and the opportunity to work at a company with an international profile."

those would be my suggestions. Yours are not necessarily wrong (although there are two verb problems, in "With this letter I am applying" and "that I am searching"), but they could be improved to sound more like those of someone who has experience writing cover letters or applications in English.
#3AuthorLonelobo (595126) 10 Apr 10, 23:52
Do students really talk about being in such and such a semester in either BE or AE? I only hear "I'm a second year student" or "I'm in my second year" etc but maybe it's the company I keep. What do others think?
#4Authorxxx12 Apr 10, 21:09
Although #2 seems to agree with you, it is incorrect English to say apply at an enterprise. #3's version (apply to a company) is correct.
#5AuthorSpike BE (535528) 12 Apr 10, 21:20
#4: Das kommt natürlich auf die Zählung der jeweiligen Uni an. Wenn man sich um ein Praktikum bewirbt, wird man wohl bei der Zählung seiner Heimatuni bleiben. Vielleicht haben sie in Singapur auch Trimester oder wer weiß was, da schafft eine Umrechnung eher Verwirrung, glaube ich.
#6Authortigger13 Apr 10, 09:13
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