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    Please proofread my proposal


    Please proofread my proposal

    Hi all,

    This weekend i pass the BEC Higher Test. Therefore, I wrote some kind of texts i.e. report, letter, proposal this week. I would be very gratefull if somebody proofread my proposal.
    After reading please tell me if my vocabulary is adequate for a proposal and where my biggest mistakes are. Also, it would be nice if you could tell me mistakes in the structure.

    In advance, thank you for proofreading!

    Bec Higher candidate


    Proposal - Ways to Use Technology

    The aim of this proposal is to evaluate the number of ways in which technology can be used in our department. The evaluation also includes also future need in technology i.e. shows possibilities new technologies can positive affect our organisation.

    The daily work of our department depends on our ERP enterprise resource planning system. Pur-chases, deliveries, settlements and payments are made through our system. Except the research team works with a new technology called dynamic search. This system is linked to an external sup-plier database which is connected to our competitors. The benefit of this system is to generate economics of scale.
    However, there is a huge improvement possible in our telecommunication system. The new technology is called automated and dynamic VOIP filing system.

    Benefits of VOIP
    Through this system phone calls can be made out of your system directly. Only a click on the call bottom is needed for calling the client. Also, the system files automatically all conversation in our database. Therefore, it is possible to hear all conversation again. Moreover, the conversations can be linked to tasks.

    Recommendations / Action Plan
    I suggest buying this technology. Due to the fact that all conversation can be linked to tasks and can be heard as much as needed will avoid mistakes in daily work. Thus, quality standards rise and our clients will benefit from a better service. For the training I suggest to hire Skype as partner. The company provide training courses with experienced and well-skilled coaches.

    Words: 250
    VerfasserBec Higher Candidate22 Apr. 10, 18:34
    einmal posten reicht schon ;-))
    #1Verfassersoso22 Apr. 10, 18:36
    Einen Fehler zeige ich Dir auf:

    The evaluation also includes also future need in technology i.e. shows possibilities new technologies can positive affect our organisation.

    Die anderen bleiben, denn Du machst den Test, nicht wir, und Du willst eine (gute?) Note aus eigener Kraft erhalten und nicht in fremden Schuhen durchs Leben wandeln.
    #2Verfasser Werner (236488) 22 Apr. 10, 18:39
    hallo zusammen,

    sind unterschiedliche Texte...

    @werner: klar mach ich den test selber. Bin ja jetzt nur am üben und hoffe die schlimmsten fehler bis zum samstag auszumerzen...
    #3VerfasserBec Higher candidate22 Apr. 10, 21:33
 ­ automatisch zu ­ ­ umgewandelt