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    Translation correct?

    Der Tod entreißt uns zwar das Greifbare, aber er lässt die Brücke der Liebe zurück - Death may berea…

    Source Language Term

    Der Tod entreißt uns zwar das Greifbare, aber er lässt die Brücke der Liebe zurück


    Death may bereave us of the tangible, but it leaves to us the bridge of love


    Wurde von einer Freundin gebeten, diesen Text auf einer Trauerkarte zu übersetzen, die sie den Hinterbliebenen eines verstorbenen Onkels in Australien schicken möchte (die Angehörigen sprechen kein Deutsch).

    Meine Frage bezieht sich hauptsächlich auf tangible.

    Meint ihr, das passt in dem Kontext?

    Oder hat jemand insgesamt einen besseren Vorschlag?


    AuthorGoldammer (428405) 09 Dec 20, 16:34

    Evtl. frei: Death may take the body but cannot destroy / touch the bridge of love.

    #1Authormbshu (874725)  09 Dec 20, 17:43

    Nicht so ganz glücklich damit, mbshu...nichts für ungut. Das Poetische des Originals bleibt etwas auf der Strecke, finde ich.

    "take" für "entreißt" ist mir etwas zu farblos.

    Und das "zurücklassen" in eine verneinte Form "cannot destroy" umzumünzen ist mir auch etwas zu entfernt vom Original.

    Trotzdem danke für's Mitdenken! 😉

    #2AuthorGoldammer (428405) 09 Dec 20, 18:12

    Wenn es sehr eng am Text sein soll, halte ich 'bereave' auch für zu zahm für 'entreißen'. Vielleicht

    Death may tear the tangible/ material/ physical from us, but it leaves us the bridge of love.

    #3AuthorGibson (418762) 09 Dec 20, 18:50

    Danke, Gibson!

    Also, "the tangible" geht hier?

    (Also mit "the material" hätte ich ein Problem, da es auch als "das Material" - also nicht "das Materielle" gelesen werden könnte, und das wäre missverständlich)

    #4AuthorGoldammer (428405)  09 Dec 20, 20:18

    Also, "the tangible" geht hier?

    In diesem speziellen Kontext find ich schon.

    #5AuthorGibson (418762) 09 Dec 20, 20:52

    I don’t like “bereave” there at all because it's so unusual (unless I'm overlooking something, it's used almost exclusively adjectivally today, as in "a bereaved husband," etc., not as a verb in the active voice). “wrest” would be more poetic than “tear.” I’m not keen on “the tangible”---“what is tangible” could give it a slightly less abstract feel. I’d omit modals to give it a bit more strength:


    “Death wrests from us what is tangible, but it leaves us the bridge of love.”


    I’m not really keen on the repetition of the 1st person pl. pronoun. Something like this possibly, although it changes the image:


    “Death (may) wrest(s) from us what is tangible, but it yields the bridge of love.”


    ---“yield” in the sense of hergeben, abtreten. (And perhaps in such a version a modal after all, otherwise it's a little on the curt side.)


    10.12.2020 9:30 a.m.

    Coming back to this twelve hours later, I wonder if something along these lines might not be better, avoiding the “drama” of “wrest,” “tear,” or whatever, also the abstract “tangible”:


    “Death may take from us what we can touch, but it leaves us the bridge of love.”

    #6AuthorBion (1092007)  09 Dec 20, 21:23

    I second Bion's #6 remark about 'bereave'. As a verb it has become so obscure that for most people who are not language fans I think its true meaning has become unclear.

    In fact, note that LEO lists to bereave someone of something as obsolete.

    As Bion stated, it almost exclusively appears as bereaved (adjective or noun) and I suspect to many it reads as 'heavy with sorrow' or 'grieving' .. and not as German beraubt.

    Also interesting is that an older participle form of bereave is bereft. It is still in literary use for deprived of or lacking:

    "When her husband left her, Mrs. Smith found herself bereft of all means to support herself."

    "The room was stark and bereft of color."

    So ironically, "Death may leave us bereft of the tangible...." might actually be clearer in meaning to most than "Death may bereave us of the tangible...."

    #7Authoreclectus (1173200)  10 Dec 20, 19:59

    Danke euch allen für die differenzierte und kreative Erörterung!

    #8AuthorGoldammer (428405) 10 Dec 20, 20:32
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