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    Letter of reference

    Comment
    Hi all, I recently finished an internship in hongkong and now am in the pleasurable situation to write my own letter of reference ..
    The following is the result so far, but I got the feeling that it sounds a little stilted. What do you think about it? Any proposals to enhance the text? Im apreaciating more than greatly any kind of help.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    It is with great pleasure that I find myself writing this letter of recommendation for xxxxxxxx. In my capacity as a general manager at xxxxxxx Hong Kong, I have known him for three months working as an intern under my supervision.


    A quick understanding of complex coherences being one of his greates strengths,
    Mr. xxxxxx has become a valuable pillar of our team within a very short time. Under highest pressures he learned very rapidly, and worked on a variety of task in construction and project management with considerable independence and confidence. He proved a hard-working self-starter who invariably understands exactly what a project is all about from the outset, and how to get it done quickly and effectively. For example he saved a timely completion of a technic room, when he set up an emergency plan on his own initiative and realised it within only a few hours, when a chinese company had untimely walled the urgent access route for a subcontractor’s machinery to this room.

    Besides his achievments in construction and project management, the results of his design work were of outstanding quality too. Working in our planning division at the end of his internship by his own request, to gain a maximum of insights into our business, he showed excellent capacities to creativity and teamwork. Especially the fast re-design of the entire 5th and 6th floor of xxxxxxx by Mr. xxxxxxxin cooperation with Mr. xxxxx one of our architects, was impressive. Refering to Mr. xxxxxx (architect), it were the innovative impulses coming from Mr. xxxxx, and the subsequent joint revision of the earlier plans, that made them able to come up extremely quickly with a striking new design that by far exceeded any earlier drawings in concept and efficiency.

    Mr. xxxxx is a resourceful and solution-oriented creative of the highest caliber. He rarely requires supervision, is punctual, typically exceeds expectations, manages stress well and voluntarily works overtime to meet a deadline. He has a dedication to success and his efforts have produced high quality results time and time again.

    It is for these reasons that I offer highest recommendations for Mr xxxxxx without reservation.
    I would happily re-employ Mr. xxxxx when he finishes his studies as I consider him a model member of any team. If you have questions regarding this recommendation, please do not hesitate to contact me.
    Sincerely,

     
    AuthorGermanguy10 Aug 07, 08:23
    Comment
    A quick understanding of complex coherences being one of his greates strengths


    A quick apprehension of complex coherences? being one of his greatest assets
    #1Authorcd_ (337571) 10 Aug 07, 09:40
    Comment
    In my capacity as

    In my role as
    #2Authorcd_ (337571) 10 Aug 07, 09:42
    Comment
    I have known him for three months working as an intern under my supervision

    he was working for three months as an intern under my supervision
    #3Authorcd_ (337571) 10 Aug 07, 09:43
    Comment
    valuable pillar ?
    #4Authorcd_ (337571) 10 Aug 07, 09:45
    Comment
    highest? pressure[s]
    #5Authorcd_ (337571) 10 Aug 07, 09:46
    Comment
    variety of tasks
    #6Authorcd_ (337571) 10 Aug 07, 09:46
    Comment
    Did they need any other staff during your internship? As far as it goes, you semm to have run the shop.

    Why don't you right away apply for the general manager's job?
    #7AuthorHR Manager10 Aug 07, 09:50
    Comment
    it is my pleasure to write this letter of recommendation

    a quick understanding of complex issues/correlations ...

    a valuable member of / a valuable part of / a valuable supporting member



    I wouldn't consider it stilted, more a bit vainglorious, but it has too many errors in it for you to present it to, say, a native English speaker.

    Since there are so many of them, I'd suggest getting a native speaker to checkread it for you - it shouldn't be too expensive.

    #8Authorodondon irl10 Aug 07, 10:03
    Comment
    The document is basically full of errors and stylistic oddities. As such, it seems extremely authentic - it is exactly what I would expect from a manager in Hong Kong. We call it "chinglish" (the Chinese attempt at English). Your time in Hong Kong has obviously converted your Denglisch into Chinglish.
    Either learn to love it, or follow Odondon irl's advice.
    #9AuthorDanny Boy10 Aug 07, 10:53
    Comment
    Ein excelentestes qualifiziertes deutschestes Arbeitszeugnis muss vor vaingloriousity stets strotzen, andernfalls bedeutet es "no good". Man verwendet stets grammatikalisch bedenklichste Superlative und in jedem Absatz muss stets mindestens einstets stehen.
    #10Author Pachulke (286250) 10 Aug 07, 11:10
    Comment
    ...better?


    It is with great pleasure that I find myself writing this letter of recommendation for xxxxx In my capacity as a general manager at xxxxx Hong Kong, he was working for three months as an intern under my supervision.


    Mr. xxxxxx is a hard-working self-starter who invariably understands exactly what a project is all about from the outset, and how to get it done quickly and effectively. He learned rapidly and became a valuable member of our team within a short time. Working on a variety of tasks in construction and project management with considerable independence and confidence, he demonstrated reliability and very good results even under increased pressure situations, like when he set up and realised a fast emergency plan on his own initiative when a chinese company had untimely walled the urgent access route for a subcontractor’s machinery.


    At the end of his internship he was working in our planning division by his own request, to gain a maximum of insights into our business. The achivements of his design work were outstanding and he displayed high capacities for creativity and teamwork. .Especially the fast re-design of the entire 5th and 6th floor of xxxxxxx by Mr. xxxxxx in cooperation with Mr. yyyyy, one of our architects, was impressive. Refering to Mr. yyyy, the innovative impulses from Mr. xxxxx, and the subsequent joint revision of the earlier plans, played the iintegral part in coming up extremely quickly with the striking new design that by far exceeded any earlier drawings in concept and efficiency.


    Mr. xxxxx is a resourceful and solution-oriented creative of the highest caliber. He rarely requires supervision, is punctual, typically exceeds expectations and voluntarily works overtime to meet a deadline. He has a dedication to success and his efforts have produced high quality results time and time again.

    It is for these reasons that I offer highest recommendations for Mr xxxxx without reservation.
    I would happily re-employ Mr. xxxxx when he finishes his studies as I considered him a model member of our team. If you have questions regarding this recommendation, please do not hesitate to contact me.
    Sincerely,

    xxxxxxxx
    #11AuthorGermanguy13 Aug 07, 10:54
    Comment
    Es ist mit großem Vergnügen, das ich die Entdeckung selbst, die dieses Empfehlungsschreiben für xxxxx in meine Kapazität als Generaldirektor in xxxxx Hong-Kong schreibt, er für drei Monate als Internierter unter meiner Überwachung arbeitete.

    Herr xxxxxx ist ein fleißiger Selbststarter, der unveränderlich genau versteht, was ein Projekt ganz ungefähr von Anfang an ist und wie man es schnell und effektiv getan erhält. Er erlernte schnell und wurde ein wertvolles Mitglied unserer Mannschaft innerhalb einer kurzen Zeit. Arbeitend auf einer Vielzahl von Aufgaben im Aufbau- und Projektmanagement mit beträchtlicher Unabhängigkeit und im Vertrauen, demonstrierte er Zuverlässigkeit und sehr gute Resultate sogar unter erhöhten Drucksituationen, wie, als er aufstellte und verwirklichte einen schnellen Dringlichkeitsplan aus eigener Initiative, als eine chinesische Firma untimely den dringenden Zugang Weg für die Maschinerie eines Unterlieferanten walled.

    Am Ende seines Internship arbeitete er in unserer Planung Abteilung durch seinen eigenen Antrag, ein Maximum von Einblicken in unser Geschäft zu gewinnen. Die achivements seiner Designarbeit waren hervorragend und er zeigte die hohen Kapazitäten für Kreativität und Teamwork an. Especially Die schnelle Neukonstruktion des gesamten 5. und 6. Stocks von xxxxxxx durch Herrn xxxxxx in Zusammenarbeit mit dem Herrn, der, einer unserer Architekten yyyyy ist, war eindrucksvoll. Refering zum Herrn, der yyyy ist, die erfinderischen Antriebe vom Herrn xxxxx und die folgende gemeinsame Neuausgabe der früheren Pläne, spielten die iintegral Rolle, wenn sie oben extrem schnell mit dem auffallenden neuen Design kommen, das bei weitem alle früheren Zeichnungen im Konzept und in der Leistungsfähigkeit überstieg.

    Herr xxxxx ist des höchsten Kalibers ein reich an Hilfsquellen und Lösung-orientiertes kreatives. Er selten benötigt Überwachung, ist punctual, übersteigt gewöhnlich Erwartungen und arbeitet freiwillig über die Zeit hinaus, um einen Stichtag zu treffen. Er hat eine Widmung zum Erfolg und seine Bemühungen haben hohe Qualitätsresultate Zeit und Zeit wieder produziert.

    Es ist aus diesen Gründen, daß ich höchsten Empfehlungen für Herrn xxxxx ohne Reservierung anbiete. Ich re-employ glücklich Herrn xxxxx, wenn er seine Studien beendet, wie ich ihn für ein vorbildliches Mitglied unserer Mannschaft hielt. Wenn Sie die Fragen betreffend sind diese Empfehlung haben, bitte zögern Sie nicht, mit mir in Verbindung zu treten. Herzlichst



    PS: Er wird wohl bald Bereichsleiter oder Vorstandsmitglied hier sein
    #12AuthorBF13 Aug 07, 11:01
    Comment

    @BF: PS: Er wird wohl bald Bereichsleiter oder Vorstandsmitglied hier sein LOL! verrrry naughty, but do give it a rest, guys!

    @Germanguy: I second odondon (does sound somewhat vainglorious) and danny boy's proposal. A testimonial adorned with excessive superlatives would more likely scare people away, methinks. Either that, or else you'd get the kind of incredulous (green-with-envy?) reaction as shown by posters 7, 10 and 12. :o)

    Hope you find your way to a sensible "middle ground" - Good luck!
    #13Authorwellwisher13 Aug 07, 12:48
    Comment
    Iam willingly writing this letter of recommendation for xxxxx. Ia am general manager of xxxxx Hong Kong and he was working for three months as an intern under my supervision.


    Mr. xxxxxx is a hard-working, apprehensive, effective and fast.

    He learned rapidly and became a valuable member of our team within a short time.

    Working on a variety of tasks in construction and project management with considerable independence and confidence, he demonstrated reliability and very good results even under stress, for instance he set up and realised on his own initiative an emergency plan when a chinese company had untimely walled the access route for a subcontractor’s machinery.


    At the end of his internship he decided to work in our planning division to gain aa overall insight of our business. He showed creativity and ability for teamwork. He took a major part in making a new design for several floors of a building.


    Mr. xxxxx is creative , resourceful and solution-oriented. He is punctual and voluntarily works overtime to meet a deadline. He has a dedication to success and his efforts have produced high quality results.

    It is for these reasons that I offer highest recommendations for Mr xxxxx without reservation.
    #14Authormoderator13 Aug 07, 13:12
    Comment

    @moderator: you've done a good job in cutting down most of the hyperbole, nice one!

    my proposals for slight corrections to be made to moderator's text:

    *I am willingly* => It is with pleasure...

    *Mr. x is ...(apprehensive => has a good understanding of the job requirements)

    *He learned rapidly* => fast learner

    *walled the access route TO a ....

    He took (=> played) a major part (=>role) in making a new design for several floors of a building.

    *He has a dedication to success => dedicated to his work

    #15Author2cents13 Aug 07, 13:51
     
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