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    things hidden - hidden things

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    Topic

    things hidden - hidden things

    Comment
    Hi all,

    I have a question regarding word order and usability - I recently had to write a short profile for an exhibition, and among others are these two sentences:

    "I've been taking pictures for most of my life, and am still fascinated by their ability to communicate on an almost visceral level - immediate, emotional and storytelling. I also am in constant awe of how images can capture things hidden, that just need a little nudge to come to the surface."

    The proof reader (native English speaker) turned things hidden around into hidden things "[...]I am also in constant awe of how images can capture hidden things, that just need a little nudge to come to the surface."

    I know this doesn't change the meaning at all, but it made me wonder... to my mind, reversing the order made this sound a bit more poetic, and I'm sure I've heard/seen adjectives in that place before. Is this the case, or am I completely wrong?

    also, as a bonus question :) if I wrote "can capture the hidden and bring it to the surface/ to light", would that sound better, worse or plainly contrived?
    Authorontwerper (608199) 30 Apr 10, 22:02
    Comment
    In this particular context "things hidden" seems clumsy to me, particularly since it separates the noun from the relative cause that modifies it.
    #1AuthorMikeE (236602) 30 Apr 10, 22:39
    Comment
    I agree with MikeE that it sounds a little off, and I'd be a little concerned that your proofreader didn't remove the comma before "that," which to me looks like a Germanism. You're right that you can take poetic license to reverse the word order (sight unseen, the light fantastic, etc.), but when you do so I would think the phrase needs to stand on its own. You could offset it with a pause and repeat "things" there: "things unseen -- things that just..." But then "things" is a pretty weak word to be made to do all that lifting.

    I don't much care for your other suggestion, either. What about something like "how photographs throw the otherwise unnoticed into high relief" or "how images cast light on things that might otherwise remain hidden."

    I'm struggling for a suitable metaphor here because the whole sentiment seems pretty obvious: The act of framing gives meaning to the subject, literally bringing it into focus.
    #2AuthorKatydid (US)30 Apr 10, 23:06
    Comment
    umm, no, that's not the sentiment here, at least not mine. :) Well, depends on what you understand by framing.

    What I'm trying to say in a very general way is that you can make a picture reveal something that it doesn't on first glance, e.g. by ways of post-processing. Like turning an architectural structure into a biological, or bringing out the menacing feeling of a place that actually looks quite ordinary. It's all there in the picture, you just have to lure it out.
    I don't find those changes easily describable in one word, so I ended up with things, which I agree is pretty weak.

    Anyway, thanks for your answers!
    #3Authorontwerper (608199) 01 May 10, 00:14
    Comment
    What I meant by framing is the simple fact of creating an image -- selecting the part that belongs in the image, and the part that doesn't. That's a deliberate choice that lends weight and significance to whatever is depicted. But I understand now that you mean doing other things with an image that already exists, so not that first "capturing" of it, indeed not, but the teasing out of aspects that might otherwise be lost or adding of new elements.

    What about, then, "how, with a slight nudge, images can be made to reveal hidden aspects of their subjects"?
    #4AuthorKatydid (US)01 May 10, 00:21
    Comment
    oh, I like that, and it gets rid of "things".

    Thank you so much for your help!
    #5Authorontwerper (608199) 01 May 10, 01:38
     
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