If you're looking for colloquial BE I'd say:
..the team is a right washout! or
..they're a right washout!

Means disaster or failure

http://www.welt.de/politik/deutschland/articl...
>>Landläufig weiß man ja, was eine „Gurkentruppe“ ist. Und doch hilft auch hier der Blick in das Online-Lexikon Wikipedia weiter, denn dort wird die Gurkentruppe dem unkundigen Leser als „vierköpfige Spaßband“ vorgestellt.

Böse meinende Zeitgenossen, die an dieser Stelle nicht weiterlesen, könnten auf das einstige Erscheinungsbild der FDP tippen, [...]
was wiederum auf den Vorwurf der FDP gemünzt war, die CSU würde[n] „wie eine Wildsau auftreten“,[...]<<

Würde man im Kontext diese Artikels die FDP auch als wash out bezeichnen?

Wie wuerde man Wildsau übersetzen?

.

Wird wohl genauso gebraucht wie Wildsau auf Deutsch.

a bunch of amateurs
a bunch of duds


so eher, oder?

oder auch lustig: a bunch of complete and utter muppets

Die NYT übersetzt es tatsächlich mit "troop of cucumbers"...

The England football team - what a shower!

In the UK, we would say, "they are a right shower", meaning a disorganised, amateurish, almost comical group who have no idea how to do their job. Alternative translation: "a rabble".

P.S. the pronunciation is "Schau-er", not "show" as in the English word for "zeigen".

I can't recommend trying #3's "wild boar" or #5's "troop of cucumbers" - in BE, at least.

#9 "Barfuß Bethlehem" sagt mir gar nichts, das habe ich noch nie gehört...

Keystone Cops (Wikipedia)
. . .
The name has since been used to criticize any group for its mistakes, particularly if the mistakes happened after a great deal of energy and activity, or for a lack of coordination among the members. ...
In sport, the term has come into common usage by television commentators, particularly in the United Kingdom and Ireland. The rugby commentator Liam Toland uses the term to describe a team's incompetent performance on the pitch. The phrase "Keystone cops defending" has become a favorite catchphrase for describing a situation in an English football match where a defensive error or a series of defensive errors leads to a goal.[6] The term was also used to describe the play of the New York Jets against the New England Patriots in the Buttfumble game, with sportscaster Cris Collinsworth declaring "This is the Keystone Cops" after the Jets gave up 21 points in 51 seconds. [7]
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Keystone_Cops

'Muppets' and 'a right shower' both sound very BE to me, that is, not very comprehensible in AE.

I also don't think anything like 'pickle,' 'cucumber,' or 'barefoot' translates literally.

'A bunch of losers,' on the other hand, would be understandable anywhere, as would 'amateurs,' 'duds,' etc.

And the phrase that came to my mind, '(a bunch of) Keystone Cops,' though originally from American movies, is apparently now known on both sides of the pond.

For the game as opposed to the team, 'a washout' (one word), 'a disaster,' 'a total fiasco,' etc. would also work.

Or for the team, actually you could use in a pinch a saying of my parents, 'an accident looking for a place to happen.' (-;

und wenn beide Teams richtig schlecht sind, dann heißt das bei uns "Not gegen Elend" :-)